Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Watch. Enjoy. Repeat.

September 22, 2008

The A.V. Club had a feature asking a bunch of people I’ve never heard of the question “what’s your most-rewatched movie?” Their responses were interesting—and would be more so if I were familiar with the individuals—so I thought I’d share my answer.

I’ve thought about the subject a lot because my favorite movies aren’t necessarily the ones I watch regularly. It’s a crucial distinction because there are several movies that I don’t think are good or great by any stretch but I enjoy watching a lot. My favorite movies aren’t necessarily those that I can (or do) watch regularly but they really resonate with me whenever I do.

My all-time most re-watched movie has to be Happy Gilmore, which I think most people who know me would be surprised to find out. I watch this at least once a month and sometimes more, I can quote from it liberally and extensively. My favorite scenes are definitely the ones with Ben Stiller as a nursing home orderly. It makes me laugh every time.

Aside from that, I like The Italian Job, Dumb and Dumber, and Back to the Future. I must say that getting rid of satellite and the three-at-a-time plan from Netflix have cut into the time I have to re-watch movies: I could have made a much more extensive list two years ago, for example.

Review Nuggets

September 18, 2008

Time for some more Netflix queue reviewin’ (long overdue from the looks of it):

  • Pride and Prejudice (Netflix): a great adaptation of Austen’s most famous novel. Keira Knightley is pretty good, but I was most impressed with Donald Sutherland’s acting.
  • Baby Mama (Netflix): I really liked this movie, but I’m predisposed to that on account of being a huge Tina Fey fan. Amy Poehler was much better than I expected and I found myself actually caring about the characters.
  • Kiss the Girls (Netflix): good enough thriller. The plot was interesting but there were many distracting (and glaring) holes. Like, who allows a victim to participate in apprehending a serial killer? Come on.
  • City Lights (Netflix): Charlie Chaplin’s last silent film. I know plenty of people will defend silent movies as just as good as talkies—I’m not one of them. I’ve watched enough of them to have an informed disdain—except Buster Keaton, who gets a pass because his films are still hilarious.
  • The List (Netflix): I like Wayne Brady. Wait, I liked Wayne Brady. This piece of crap belongs on Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel. The acting is terrible, the plot is predictable, and the characters are shallow. Awful—but seriously worth buying through my Amazon affiliate link.
  • Shenandoah (Netflix): James Stewart is a Virginia farmer who vigorously tries to avoid the Civil War occurring around him. But then one of his five boys gets taken prisoner mistakenly and he’s one pissed off actor. Very good, maybe a little slow, but plenty of wonderful lines.
  • Trust the Man (Netflix): David Duchovny plays a sex addict—hmm—in this relationship movie. It wasn’t bad though rather pointless. I did like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character.
  • Hairspray (Netflix): excellent movie irrevocably marred by John Travolta in drag and fat suit. Seriously, I have no idea why they cast him as the wife of Christopher Walken. He was painful to watch and would have been perfect without him.
  • Balls of Fury (Netflix): I had extremely low expectations going into this movie. I hoped that Christopher Walken would be funny—he was—but I found myself laughing hysterically often and drawn into the story. It’s lowbrow, don’t get me wrong, but high-quality slapstick.
  • Mad Men Season 1 (Netflix): this came highly recommended from a number of sources. I watched one disc worth and had enough. The first couple episodes found me really wanting to like Don Draper, but then it got slimy and smarmy. Maybe a 60s advertising agency was like that, but it left me cold. I’m not a prude; I just don’t like watching affair after affair after affair.
  • Gone Baby Gone (Netflix): decent thriller about the kidnapping of a four-year-old that ends up being a lot more complicated than at first. I liked it but I don’t need to ever watch it again.
  • Be Kind Rewind (Netflix): Terrible. The preview made it look stupid but I thought it would be one of those “so stupid it’s funny” movies. Nope, just stupid.
  • Sunshine (Netflix): unique science fiction movie about a mission to re-light the sun, which is nearing burnout. I love the premise but then they had to mess it up with a horror twist that was wholly unnecessary. The race against time and technological limitation was compelling enough as it was.
  • Sex and the City Season 1 (Netflix): entertaining fluff to watch. I can see why so many adored the show, but it didn’t grab me. Again, maybe I just don’t enjoy watching whiny, promiscuous women.
  • Raise the Red Lantern (Netflix): incredible and beautiful film about polygamy and arranged marriages in China. The period is ambiguous. It focused on the interplay between the wives; I would have liked to see more about the master.
  • Deadwood Season 1 (Netflix): I rented this once before and never got into it, which is surprising since I will watch any Western that crosses my transom. It’s gritty and vile, making it perhaps more authentic to the real Deadwood.
  • Assume the Position with Mr. Wuhl (Netflix): comedian Robert Wuhl channels Howard Zinn for the benefit of some NYU students. There’s definitely a liberal slant here, but it is funny as hell nonetheless.
  • Mrs. Henderson Presents (Netflix): Judi Dench decides to invest in a theater in World War II-era London, hiring Bob Hoskins as the manager. They turn the show into a continuous burlesque while conforming to the strict standards of the time and become a sensation. Hoskins is great and the movie is worth watching.
  • August Rush (Netflix): This one was just a little too pat for my tastes with a resolution that was both utterly predictable and a horrible groaner. It could have been so much better, but they blew it.
  • P.S. I Love You (Netflix): a husband finds out he has a brain tumor and writes a series of letters to his wife in an posthumous effort to help her through the grief. Very sweet, tender, and believable movie. I’d recommend it.

If you want in on my Netflix friendship (hey, buddy!), feel free.

A Little Longer Review of The Dark Knight

August 26, 2008

In my off-the-cuff quick review of The Dark Knight, I said that I would write up a lengthier one after I had seen it a second time and could focus on a couple of points that confused me originally. I saw it again a couple of weeks ago and it really didn’t hold up well the second time.

Most intriguing the second go round were The Joker’s villainous experiments in game theory. The one involving Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes tied up in warehouses full of explosives but on opposite sides of town didn’t originally strike me as anything special originally, but it was more obvious this time that Batman actually went to save Rachel and that The Joker had consciously switched the addresses. That meant that picking one over the other meant that the one chosen is the one that dies. Much more dastardly than I had originally thought and it also made it understandable why Batman “chose” to save Harvey Dent.

The ferry experiment, in which The Joker loaded two ferries with explosives and then gave the other boat’s detonator to each set of passengers, was much more disgusting the second time. Originally, I thought that the convict’s taking of the detonator and throwing it out the window was a moral statement that they should have refused to play The Joker’s twisted game. Further, I thought that the other ferry’s wavering and refusal to push the button at the last minute was a wrestling with a difficult decision and opting to not partake of it.

However, I’m now convinced that it was a sacrificial act and very repulsive. By waiting, they had effectively doomed both boats to destruction by The Joker—they did not know that Batman would save them. In the face of a serious emergency, they chose to forfeit the responsibility of a decision. It is possible that The Joker would have wired each detonator to blow up the ferry that it was on or blow them both up—it’s certainly feasible that there was a nihilistic trick up The Joker’s sleeve—but they had no way of knowing. Either way, both groups clearly did not value their own lives.

The biggest revelation with the second viewing was that it’s not nearly as good of a movie as I thought. The disjointed subplots first felt like the painful inhalation when you come up for air before being dragged down: one concluded and then another one immediately began. This time, though, I could see how they just extended the movie into discomfort. It’s as if there were a brainstorming meeting prior to the start of the script and they couldn’t decide on a single, coherent plot so they just took the top three ideas and went with them. This time, it was just tedious.

I still think it was a good movie, just not as great as I had thought.

Quick Review of The Dark Knight

July 21, 2008

I saw The Dark Knight on Friday morning but I don’t feel comfortable reviewing it just yet. I want to see it again just to make sure of a few salient points. I plan to see it again in a week or so at an IMAX theater to get the full experience. Until then, let me just say that I think it is the best Batman film ever. I loved Batman Begins and this one was much, much better.

Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker was amazing. He played the nihilism perfectly. Michael Caine as Alfred describes him thus: “Some men just like to watch the world burn.” Ledger makes you believe that that is his exact motivation. I think he really stole the show and would deserve any Oscar that he’ll surely be nominated for—even though the Academy would just do it because of his untimely death.

In the end, I highly recommend that you see this movie if you like Batman at all. It’s audacious, visually stunning, and exceedingly well-acted. I’m seeing it twice and I can’t remember the last movie I saw twice at the theaters.

Review of Wall-E

July 14, 2008

I expected Wall-E to be an anti-materialist, anti-capitalist, and environmentalist piece of tripe that I was going to regret seeing or exposing my children to. But I have not found a Pixar movie yet that I didn’t enjoy to some degree. (The Incredibles was my favorite followed by Ratatouille and A Bug’s Life. Least favorites: Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo.) I had these expectations because the liberals I follow raved about it and the conservatives I follow despised it. I think that means that the actual meaning of the movie is deeper than it appears, which allows viewers to see on the surface what they would like.

The movie, in case you’re not familiar with the basic story, is about a small robot that’s been left on Earth to clean up its trash for the last 700 years. The robot, Wall-E (who is given voice by Ben Burtt, the same guy who did R2-D2), develops something of a personality as he scours the trash for interesting items. One day, a spaceship lands and emits another robot called Eve, a probe robot (designed by Jonathan Ive, the guy behind the iPod), who is on Earth looking for signs of plant life. She was sent there by the captain of a ship containing the entire population of Earth. The humans, having consumed Earth right into inhospitableness, abandoned the planet and left robots to clean up the mess in preparation for their eventual return.

So you can see why both groups see the movie as they do. For the liberals, it’s a parable of humanity’s future if we don’t Do Something. For conservatives, it’s a propaganda piece put out by Hollywood liberals completely out of touch with reality. On a superficial level, I think they’re both right. The future in the movie is run by a single corporation that provides everything for the people; the luxury spaceship that they live in is completely automated and they needn’t lift a finger; and the Earth is so uninhabitable that nothing grows there for centuries. That’s pretty damning stuff, a sort of hyperbolic An Inconvenient Truth.

But it’s not the central theme of the movie. For me, the core idea of the movie is summed up by the captain, who exclaims “I’m tired of surviving, I want to live” when faced with a choice between continuing life aboard the ship or returning to Earth and starting a new Jamestown without all of the resources or helpful Indians. In that moment, the captain has realized that life is about values and the struggle to achieve them. By having everything handed to him and letting his life be run on autopilot (literally in his case), he’s missed out on a life proper to a human being. Furthermore, in a deliciously ironic twist, the robot is the value pursuer and it inspires the captain to reclaim his dignity.

For me then, the movie was about working for what you want and accepting responsibility for your life. There is always a temptation for us to take the easy way out: to let others do our thinking for us, to let others pander to us and become our masters, to let others provide for us. But that is not the good life: it is a betrayal of our very humanity. Sometimes it takes an unusual source to remind us of that.

(NOTE: It was Jennifer Snow’s review that made me decide to give the movie a shot. Thank you, Jennifer!)

[UPDATE: My wife reminded me of one of the best parts of the movie. Whenever Wall-E, who was solar-powered, got his morning charge and started up, the chime is the Mac startup sound. I’m so proud of her!]

Movie Reviews, Twitter-Style

July 10, 2008

Here’s the latest installment of my quick reviews, slightly larger than normal because I had forgotten to do this sooner. For a change, let’s limit the review to a maximum of 140 characters—à la Twitter:

  • Duck, You Sucker (Netflix): Proof that even Sergio Leone made stinkers. I wouldn’t have thought so had I not seen this. Absolute waste of James Coburn.
  • The Lives of Others (Netflix): Absolutely great movie about the corrupting influence of the Stasi, for both the people and the Stasi themselves. Five stars, two thumbs up.
  • Tom Green: Inside & Outside the Box (Netflix): Do not consume too much in one sitting. It will seriously distort your perspective. If you don’t already like Tom Green, sit this one out.
  • Sullivan’s Travels (Netflix): Hokey 40s movie about whiny director who wants to get in touch with the common man. Best part: reminded me how far we’ve come in movies.
  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Netflix): Rambling, dawdling, meandering, and self-important epic that concentrates too much on Jesse James as folk hero and Robert Ford as idolator.
  • The Siege (Netflix): FBI can’t stop terrorism. Army seals off Manhattan and imposes martial law. This is how Hollywood views us: chomping to intern them Muslims.
  • The Onion Movie (Netflix): The Onion cashes out. Watch the podcast, it’s better. This generation’s Kentucky Fried Movie? Perhaps. Best part: http://xrl.us/Cockpuncher
  • The Bucket List (Netflix): Damn it, you made me enjoy Jack Nicholson. Maudlin but mesmerizing. Sappy but sentimental. Ending is dreadfully, utterly predictable.
  • Death at a Funeral (Netflix): At funeral, kids find out dad was having an affair with a midget, who wants money to keep quiet but gets killed. You-know-what ensues.
  • My Beautiful Laundrette (Netflix): Ambitious guy steals drug money to renovate laundromat. Hires school chum turned tough. Screws same in back room. Why did I rent this?
  • Mad About You: Season 1 (Netflix): This is the reason why Helen Hunt was on my list for so long (and why I own Twister). Mercifully M.A.B.E.L.-free.
  • Duck Soup (Netflix): “Marx Brothers at their sidesplitting best.” I’d hate to see their worst. Making fun of Hitler shouldn’t be this bad. Couldn’t finish.
  • Pacific Heights (Netflix): Michael Keaton rocks as a creepy renter who just won’t leave. Good subplot involves oppressive San Francisco government and cost of housing.
  • Battle Royale (Netflix): Japanese bad kids dropped on island with weapons and only one can survive. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a true story, which it isn’t.
  • The Americanization of Emily (Netflix): James Garner and Julie Andrews. That was enough for me, but the wacky plot kept it interesting and the anti-war rant wasn’t overblown.

If you’re interested in being Netflix buddies, feel free to follow me. I’ve rated a lot of movies.

The Long-Awaited Indiana Jones Movie

May 23, 2008

I just got back from a midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Overall, I liked it. It is primarily action-oriented and Shia LeBoeuf wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared. By the time the credits started rolling, I was decidedly ambivalent.

I get that Indiana Jones is larger-than-life, that he’s a swashbuckling professor/explorer. I think the first three movies did a great job of situating him squarely within our reality—though it varied slightly from movie to movie. This latest version borders on the preposterous a few too many times: Dr. Jones isn’t a superhero and the Amazon isn’t a fantasy land. Now I know that this isn’t supposed to be accurate or even possible, but previous installments were realistic except for (maybe even in spite of) their fantastic central premises: the Ark of the Covenant, an underground cult, and the Holy Grail.

And it didn’t have to be this way. Amazonian ants that carry people away? Come on. KGB agents seemingly swarming throughout America at will? Give me a break. Indiana surviving a nuclear bomb test by hiding in a refrigerator? Nuts. An ancient temple that reconfigures itself as if the monumental blocks were Legos? Puh-leez. Shia LeBouef swinging through vast swathes of jungle on vines? No way. But in each of those situations, Spielberg (or the writer) could have opted for a more realistic resolution. That he didn’t is perhaps a Spielberg touch.

The ending, which I will not detail here, was very rushed and very unsatisfying. I don’t know why they chose to do it that way. They were obviously shooting for spectacular, but fell short and ended up at puzzling. This issue doesn’t detract too much, however. I would recommend seeing it as it does follow in the tradition of the heretofore trilogy.

[UPDATE (6/18/2008): Matthew Baldwin just saw it and basically agrees, though he was much more amusing.]

Reviews A-Go-Go

May 10, 2008

Here’s the latest crop from the Queue, capsule-style:

  • Becoming Jane (Netflix): Anne Hathaway stars as Jane Austen in this biopic. I’m not sure of Austen’s real life, but I can easily see where she got her source material after watching. I’m a big fan of Hathaway’s and her portrayal of Austen as a strong, independent woman was compelling. It made me want to read a biography of Jane Austen—that’s a good indication of my recommendation.
  • Rush Hour 3 (Netflix): I had very low expectations of this third pairing of the aging Jackie Chan and the one-note Chris Tucker. It didn’t disappoint along those lines. My emotions at watching this flick ran the gamut: cringing, disbelief, disappointment, resentment, boredom, and even a touch of hostility.
  • Dan in Real Life (Netflix): Steve Carrell is excellently cast in this role, but he plays Dan as a little inept—a little too much Michael Scott and not enough Andy Stitzer. He’s a widower who finally meets the lady of his dreams but discovers that his brother is already dating her. Most of the movie is very uncomfortable in that you just know what’s coming. It turns out okay in the end, but there’s plenty of spots where you’re left thinking, “This guy’s a trainwreck!”
  • How to Steal a Million (Netflix): Audrey Hepburn plays the exasperated daughter of a master (and recidivist) art forger. He’s lent his master work to a museum to increase its value, but they need to bring in an expert to examine it for insurance purposes. So Hepburn enlists the aid of an art thief to steal it from the museum before her father is exposed. It’s pretty clever with the twists and turns.
  • The Usual Suspects (Netflix): done in flashback, this heist movie is a little too predictable for me. In fact, I’m getting a little tired of the flashback format. The film recounts the events that led up to the sole survival of the least-likely member of a gang during the commission of their big crime.
  • To Be or Not To Be (Netflix): “screwball comedy” set in Warsaw at the beginning of the Nazi occupation. I’ve never been a fan of Jack Benny, but he’s pretty good in this one. I think three years later they wouldn’t have been so apt to use “concentration camp” as a joke. I laughed more than I expected and the twists and turns in the plot are engrossing.
  • Kings Row (Netflix): rightly called Ronald Reagan’s best performance. It’s a psychological drama about an Everytown, U.S.A. at the turn of the last century where things are not as they seem. Apparently, the book was even more scandalous—I’ve already got it requested at the local library. It reminds me very much of Little Children, which I also liked a lot.
  • Witness for the Prosecution (Netflix): an adaptation of an Agatha Christie play that really throws you in the end. A possibly-philandering man is accused of murdering what seems to be his sugar mama. It seems pretty open and shut but he convincingly asserts his innocence. His only alibi is his wife, who ends up as a witness for the prosecution. I think it compares favorably to any modern courtroom drama.
  • Lifeboat (Netflix): set in the early days of World War II, a ship is sunk by a U-boat and a group of survivors are cast adrift in one of the lifeboats. Their prospects are bleak due to lack of supplies and they discover that the German they saved is the captain of the U-boat that got sunk at the same time. It’s directed by Alfred Hitchcock, but it belongs squarely in his early work.
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks (Netflix): gah. It’s a desecration of the famous cartoon trio, which wasn’t all that great to begin with. Littered with bathroom humor and topical references, the movie really isn’t appropriate for the young children that represent its target audience. But anyone older than that is far too mature to want to watch this tripe.
  • Amistad (Netflix): excellent movie about the real-life court case argued before the Supreme Court by John Quincy Adams involving a slave ship overrun at sea by the slaves. It does an adequate job of covering the case itself and a tremendous job of showing the barbarism of the slave trade. Hard to watch, but very worthwhile.

Bill Goes Capsule

March 27, 2008

With credit to Diana Hsieh for the inspiration, here’s some quick reviews of movies I’ve recently watched:

  • Bee Movie (Netflix): dreadful. We didn’t watch the whole thing, which is exactly what we set out to do in order to make sure it was appropriate for our daughters. It’s not, but only because it is so mind-numbing that we wouldn’t inflict it upon them.
  • The Browning Version (Netflix): excellent! Michael Redgrave gives an exemplary performance. I’m a fan of Rattigan’s work, so I must locate the play version of this.
  • Real Women Have Curves (Netflix): passable fare about the struggle between what you want and what others want for you.
  • Persuasion (Netflix): I’m a sucker for Jane Austen and this was a great production. I like the plot and theme immensely.
  • Enchanted (Netflix): Amy Adams is wonderful in this clever film. The songs, though improbable, are catchy. My girls loved it from the get-go and I can’t say that I blame them. Not at all schmaltzy, it offers a more sane version of the princess mania that’s raging right now.
  • The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid (Netflix): 70s camp and utterly ludicrous. I honestly can’t remember why I added this to my queue.
  • Premonition (Netflix): a little confusing and I’m pretty sure that it’s internally inconsistent as well. I fell asleep a couple times during it but woke up enough to catch the deeply unsatisfying ending. Sorry, but I’m not a big fan of fatalism.
  • Eight Below (Netflix): I’ll admit it—I added this to my queue because it was a drama with Jason Biggs. I wanted to see whether he could pull it off. Not particularly, but he’s supporting cast. Eight sled dogs are left to fend for themselves in Antarctica when a huge storm hits. Their sled guy feels really bad about it. Several months later, they are rescued. This one rates an “enh.”
  • Control Room (Netflix): documentary about Al-Jazeera and the second Iraq war. I thought it let the network off too easily; they are clearly fomenting anti-American sentiment.
  • Scotland, PA (Netflix): Christopher Walken is great, but I’m a little tired of Shakespearean adaptations set in modern times. This time, it’s Hamlet set in a 70s burger joint. Uh yeah. Maura Tierney is lovely, but a little hard to bear in this one.
  • In the Heat of the Night (Netflix): good look at Southern racism. Poitier seems a little wooden in this role as a northern homicide detective drafted into the investigation of a murder in Mississippi. I’m happy to have finally seen “They call me Mr. Tibbs!” in context.
  • One, Two, Three (Netflix): a real groaner. They pulled out all the stereotypes for this one. Cagney plays a fast-talking Coca-Cola executive in Berlin. Horst Buchholz, magnificent in a later movie, is horrible as a card-carrying East German Communist.
  • The Name of the Rose (Netflix): exciting enough medieval thriller set in a monastery. Monks are dying and only Sean Connery has the guts to claim that it might not be demonic possession to blame. Great if you’re into asceticism, which I am not.
  • Payback (Netflix): I avoided this Mel Gibson flick when it came out, but I was surprisingly captivated by its twists and turns. Nothing here but dark fun.
  • District B13 (Netflix): notable only because a) it stars David Belle, creator of parkour and b) it’s a French action film. If you like Jackie Chan movies for the action, you stand a good chance of being able to sit through this.
  • GoodFellas (Netflix): gritty, hard-to-watch mob movie. There’s really no point to the film other than maybe anti-recruitment for the mafia. Good if you like mob movies, which I sometimes do.
  • Fido (Netflix): I absolutely adore the alternate universe posited by this movie—nuclear war has created millions of zombies and an inventor has developed a collar that renders them obedient (as in not out to eat your gray matter). These newly-useful zombies become free labor for those who survived. Fido, in this case, is the companion to a lonely boy. It’s thinly-veiled social commentary but the premise is novel.
  • The Ref (Netflix): I can’t stand Denis Leary. I decided to give him one last chance on this one, but he blew it. Leary stars as a burglar who holds a dysfunctional family hostage and becomes their mediator and therapist. Oh, and he makes snide, facile comments non-stop.
  • Saving Private Ryan (Netflix): I avoided this movie in reaction to the hype and fawning. I deeply regret it. It suffers the same fate as nearly every Spielberg movie, but damn if this isn’t the best-looking war movie I’ve ever seen. Glory runs a close second.
  • The Prince and Me (Netflix): prosaic comedy about a girl who falls in love with a guy who turns out to be royalty. It follows all the standard sequences and revelations, but it’s cute and worth it if you want something light and fluffy.
  • After Innocence (Netflix): documentary about people serving life sentences exonerated by DNA evidence. It changed my mind about capital punishment. No, really. Like I was on the fence about the matter before watching it and wholeheartedly against it afterwards. The problem with capital punishment is that there’s no restitution if you’re wrong. And the death penalty then becomes murder.

I’ll try to make the next installment considerably shorter. If you’re a Netflix customer and want to be my friend, I’m game.

Review of High School Musical

December 24, 2007

Frequently, I find myself shaking my head at kids today. I’m not quite to the point of requesting them to stay off my yard, but it’s getting closer and closer. The females dress more and more risqué, the males more punky. The music seems insipid, though I know that that’s always been the case. In my more reasonable moments, I consider that there have always been elements of banality and senselessness in every generation.

But then I see a movie like High School Musical and I think that maybe things are getting worse. It makes Mean Girls look like high culture. It trades in every stereotype in the book and wraps its plot (such as it is) in tired bromides. And it is totally lacking in character development. The leads are a consummate bookworm who can’t be bothered to put the book down during a New Year’s Eve party and a basketball jock who spends his whole vacation practicing.

But then they’re paired at the party for a random karaoke and suddenly it’s as if they’ve been on the Mickey Mouse Club their entire childhoods. They don’t need the karaoke machine, their voices are pitch perfect, and they riff off each other as if they’d practiced. But alas their vacations are concluding and they’ll likely never see each other again. Except, lo and behold, she’s just transferred to his school in Albuquerque!

I won’t spoil the rest of the movie because a) I kind of have already forgot a lot of it and b) you shouldn’t really care. I generally agree with Kathy Sierra’s admonition but there’s only so much you can take. I think it’s safe to say that HSM is the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure of this generation.